The Fault in our Stars by John Green

313 pages

"Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten." -Dust Jacket

I've been putting off reading this book because I knew it would give me a good cry and it did, for about half the book. But it was so worth it. There is a reason this book has 600+ 5-star ratings on Amazon. As Jodi Picoult wrote on the cover, "Electric...filled with staccato bursts of humor and tragedy." Read it. You will be very glad you did. That's all.


*There is some language in this book, but frankly, I'd swear at cancer too.

Escaping the Endless Adolescence by Joseph Allen & Claudia Worrell Allen

231 pages

"Do you sometimes wonder how your teen is ever going to survive on his or her own as an adult? Does your high school junior seem oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead? Does your academically successful nineteen-year-old still expect you to 'just take care of' even the most basic life tasks?

Welcome to the stunted world of the Endless Adolescence. Recent studies show that today's teenagers are more anxious and stressed and less independent and motivated to grow up than ever before. Twenty-five is rapidly becoming the new fifteen for a generation suffering from a debilitating 'failure to launch.' Now two preeminent clinical psychologists tell us why and chart a groundbreaking escape route for teens and parents.

Drawing on their extensive research and practice, Joseph Allen and Claudia Worrell Allen show that most teen problems are not hardwired into teens' brains and hormones but grow instead out of a 'Nurture Paradox' in which our efforts to support our teens by shielding them from the growth-spurring rigors and rewards of the adult world have backfired badly. With compelling examples and practice and profound suggestions, the authors outline a novel approach for producing dramatic leaps forward in teen mature, including

• Turn Consumers into Contributors. Help teens experience adult maturity--its bumps and its joys--through the right kind of employment or volunteer activity.
• Feed Them with Feedback. Let teens see and hear how the larger world perceives them. Shielding them from criticism--constructive or otherwise--will only leave them unequipped to deal with it when they get to the 'real world.'
• Provide Adult Connections. Even though they'll deny it, teens desperately need to interact with adults (including parents) on a more mature level--and such interaction will help them blossom!
• Stretch the Teen Envelope. Do fewer things for teens that they can do for themselves, and give them tasks just beyond their current level of competence and comfort.

Today's teens are starved for the lost fundamentals they need to really grow: adult connections and the adult rewards of autonomy, competence, and mastery. Restoring these will help them unlearn their adolescent helplessness and grow into adults who can make you--and themselves--proud." -Dust Jacket

I thought I'd get a jump start on this since I have a soon-to-be thirteen-year-old and I would like her to be a capable adult someday. I also want to be a capable parent. I thought this book was very well written. It wasn't full of technical/scientific terms but was written for the average parent. I liked the examples it gave with different teens. Object lessons are always good for me. I found myself agreeing with so much of what was said and suggested and I learned a lot that I'm anxious to try. Some of the tidbits I took away from this were:

• Rather than just giving everything to our teens we need to ask some things of our teens. The Nurture Paradox is that we try so hard to give them everything we think will make them happy, that we don't want them to be deprived of material things like we were, that we nurture them with the wrong things. The authors suggest that doing this is like "poisoning their character just as surely as an excess of sugar and fat in their diets can poison their bodies." "Larry and Megan came from quite different neighborhoods and backgrounds. But what both of their parents shared was the unstated assumption that good parenting is reflected in what we provide our children, rather than in what we expect from them."
• "Our ultimate goal with our teens shouldn't be to get them into a good college, but rather to have them learn to be successful on their own in their future lives." (They talk a lot about the education of young people in this country and how it fails them to a large extent. Too much emphasis and stress are placed on college admissions, rather than on teaching young people how to navigate the adult world. They also give some interesting alternatives.) "Bending over backward to get one's child into a good college will not matter nearly as much as preparing them to function independently and to thrive once they are there."
• Doing work that matters to someone helps teens on their way to escaping the Endless Adolescence. They need to feel needed and doing work that makes a difference in the adult world.
• Teens need to be socialized by adults and not by their peers.
• "Freedom should be linked to behavior" and not to age requirements.
• We need to provide our teens with a support system (referred to as "scaffolding") so they can learn lessons but with support from us. 
• "Adults are the relationship maintainers with teens."
• "Adults should use the same conventions of respect and politeness when talking with teens that we use when talking to other adults." We should not speak to them condescendingly or always criticize. We should make sure that we have specific time with teens where there is no criticism given, we just talk with them.
• "Adolescents, for all their good intentions, are not adults in terms of their relationship skills." They quite often lack the conversation skills that adults have acquired and we need to be careful not to judge their behaviors based on an adult skill set.
• "Again and again, however, we pass up opportunities to allow our teens the experience of mastery, usually in the mistaken notion that we are nurturing them and showing them love by doing things for them." We need to take the time to teach them how to do things that are within their capacity and slightly challenge them.
• "The best feedback comes not from parents but from the real world." We need to remove the middleman--us. They give the example of taking our teens with us to parent-teacher conference so they can hear first-hand what needs improvement and what they're doing well.
• "Teens are built for physical activity, and with enough of it, will function better in all areas of life."
• The +/- 5 rule: sometimes our teens act 5 years old than they are...and sometimes they act 5 years younger.

There are definitely several things I can work on now that I think will make a huge difference, especially the one about speaking to our teens with the same respect and politeness that we do with other adults, and not being condescending or too critical. Sometimes I am too hard on my kids. I'm also excited to help my daughters do more for themselves. I've never been the mom who gives my kids everything they want. I make them earn money for the things that they really want. My middle daughter summed it up in my Mother's Day card this year: "You give me what I need and sometimes what I want." I think a lot of these suggestions will help my relationship with my daughters.  

Milton Hershey Young Chocolatier by M.M. Eboch (8 O'Clock Club read)

213 pages

"Did you know that the man behind Hershey's chocolate used to work in an ice cream parlor? Or that he had to try over and over again to get his now-famous chocolate to taste as delicious as it does today? Milton Hershey's life wasn't always a bowl of chocolate Kisses. When he was in fourth grade, he even had to drop out of school and work to help his poor family make ends meet. Read all about how the man we know as the famous young chocolatier finally struck it rich--in money, love, and chocolate!" -Back Cover

Coming off of reading Fablehaven for our 8 O'Clock Club, my kids were not too gung-ho about reading a biography. They complained for the first several nights, but then pretty soon their comments turned into, "This book is sort of good," "Can we read a few more pages?" and "I can't wait to see what happens next." This is a fictionalized biography, the first in the series of Childhood of Famous Americans that we've read, but it won't be the last. I already have Walt Disney's, Dr. Seuss's, Elizabeth Barton's and Neil Armstrong's stories in my collection and I plan on getting more. I'm assuming they're historically accurate.

What made this book so fun is that we used to live an hour away from Lancaster. We've been to Hershey, toured the chocolate factory, and driven the streets named after chocolate with the Kiss-shaped streetlights. We learned several things that we didn't know before, which was the whole point of reading a biography: Milton's father was a dreamer, but an unsuccessful one; Milton's mother and aunt and uncles supported Milton's dreams financially for quite awhile; Milton never gave up even after he failed several times; he made caramels before entering the chocolate business; he was generous with his wealth, among others. There are illustrations throughout the book which is a bonus when reading to kids.

City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare

534 pages

"The demon Lilith has been destroyed and Jace freed from captivity. But when the Shadowhunters arrive, they find only blood and broken glass. Not only is the boy Clary loves missing, so is the boy she hates: her brother Sebastian, who is determined to bring the Shadowhunters to their knees.

The Clave's magic cannot locate either boy, but Jace can't stay away from Clary. When they meet again Clary discovers the horror Lilith's magic has wrought--Jace and Sebastian are now bound to each other, and Jace has become a servant of evil. The Clave is determined to destroy Sebastian, but there is no way to harm one boy without destroying the other.

Only a few people believe that Jace can still be saved. Together, Alec, Magnus, Simon, and Isabelle bargain with the sinister Seelie Queen, contemplate deals with demons, and turn at last to the merciless, weapon-making Iron Sisters, who might be able to forge a weapon that can sever the bond between Sebastian and Jace. If the Iron Sisters can't help, their only hope is to challenge Heaven and Hell--a risk that could claim their lives.

And they must do it without Clary. For Clary is playing a dangerous game utterly alone. The price of losing is not just her own life, but Jace's soul. She's willing to do anything for Jace, but can she still trust him? Or is he truly lost? What price is too high to pay, even for love?" -Dust Jacket

After reading book 4 I kind of wished this series would have ended with book 3, City of Glass. There was a lot of "hasn't Jace suffered enough?" among fans and it felt like Cassandra Clare was just dragging things along, writing more books to make more money, whatever. But then I read her reason for continuing: that even though other characters thought Jace had been redeemed and was worthy of love, he didn't feel that way and he needed to get to that point for himself; he was still doubting himself at the end of book 3. I liked that idea and started to support the idea of three more books, despite the three-year wait for the end.

I read some of the reviews on Amazon for this book while I waited for it to come in the mail. It got an average 3.5/5 stars, which isn't that great for a 5th book. People complained that it was slow-moving, the author constantly described what people were wearing and how beautiful Jace is, etc. I think because I started it not expecting to like it very much that I liked it better. The first half is a little slow, and she does describe what characters are wearing a lot--which sometimes adds nothing to the story--but the second half was great. I liked that it didn't end with a major cliff-hanger. It sets up the last book for a major showdown which I think will be even more exciting than the showdown with Valentine.

{SPOILERS}

I liked what happened with Jace. He spent most of the book under Sebastian's control but for the few minutes that he was himself again I felt like he'd come a long way personally. Being the mindless servant of someone else showed him how much he loved his life and the people in it and how much he was willing to fight to get it back. It also let him understand Sebastian, Valentine and his real father more, and to be able to see how he is different from those people. His love for Clary is at the heart of everything he does, even under Sebastian's control. One of the characters early on said that some people have special destinies and special tortures reserved for them. Jace is apparently one of those. Being filled with heavenly fire will be an interesting twist for the final book. I'm sure it will allow him to fight (and defeat?) Sebastian; I'm just hoping that it doesn't cost him his life or Clary. I always hope for a happy ending after adversity. It was nice to get the real Jace back and hear his funny, sarcastic remarks again. Thank goodness he finally realized that he and Clary are better off and stronger together, no more pushing each other away to protect the other person. They'll just have to make sure Jace doesn't burn her when they're together. It's always something with them!

Having the angel require the Mark of Cain from Simon in exchange for a weapon that could sever the bond between Jace and Sebastian was a great plot twist. It makes Simon vulnerable again. I think he and Maureen will have to fight in the next book. She's the scariest 13-year-old I've read in a long time.

I don't care for the romance between Alec and Magnus. I like them both individually, but I'm not a fan of their relationship in a young adult book. I wouldn't let my teenager read this series because of that. Plus, Alec is a jealous teenager the whole time. He's jealous that Magnus has been around for so long and that he'll live forever. That jealousy drives him to almost make a deal with Camille to find out how to make him mortal again. Obviously that doesn't go over well with Magnus.

Sebastian is truly evil, but he's also incredibly lonely. I liked getting to know him better in this book. He's still manipulative and tells lies and will do anything it takes to get what he wants, but he also yearns for companionship, to the point where there is a really uncomfortable scene between him and Clary which I think goes to show that despite feeling a little bit sorry for him he's still despicable. He wipes out all sympathy you might have felt for him by the end of the book. I think it was smart to have Jace and Clary spend all that time with him. Even though they don't know where he is or what his end game is by the end of the book, they have learned more about his personality and motives. He is not the same kind of evil as his father. He's much, much worse.

Is Brother Zachariah really Stephen Herondale? Did he not really die? He's got to be someone with a connection to the Lightwoods and Herondales to take such a personal interest in Jace's well-being and what's going on.

I'm getting tired of saying this, but I'll have to wait a year to find out how this ends. I'm not all that interested in Cassandra Clare's other Shadowhunter series. I read Clockwork Angel  and it felt like a regurgitated version of The Mortal Instruments just with different characters. I've heard she's going to write a third series now. Maybe it's cool to see how some characters (Magnus) weave in and out of all these stories, and maybe I'll read them eventually, but right now there are just too many other books I want to read.

Insurgent by Veronica Roth

525 pages

"One choice can transform you--or it can destroy you. But every choice has consequences, and as unrest surges in the factions all around her, Tris Prior must continue trying to save those she loves--and herself--while grappling with haunting questions of grief and forgiveness, identity and loyalty, politics and love.

Tris's initiation day should have been marked by celebration and victory with her chosen faction; instead, the day ended with unspeakable horrors. War now looms as conflict between factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable--and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also by haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so." -Dust Jacket

I read this twice, the first time I flew threw it because I couldn't wait to see what happened. The second time I wanted to take it all in. This is the middle trilogy book that does not disappoint. It's just as exciting and good as the first book, with non-stop action from start to finish. I love that it starts right where Divergent  left off. This is a fantastic dystopian series. Stop reading this right here if you don't want to know details and just read the series instead!

{SPOILERS}

I've said before that one of my biggest complaints about Mockingjay  is that Katniss is so broken that she feels like a completely different person. She suffers from PTSD throughout the whole book. Now, it's been a few years since I've read it and I would like to revisit it (maybe this summer) to see if I can appreciate it more, but in my current opinion, Veronica Roth handled PTSD in a much better way from a reader's perspective. Divergent  ends with Tris and Four having shut down Erudite's simulation that put the Dauntless in a sleep-walking state and under Erudite's control. The controlled Dauntless killed many of the Abnegation faction. During all of that Tris is forced to shoot one of her best friends, Will, and both of her parents sacrifice their lives to protect her. So Insurgent  begins the day after all of that and Tris is reeling with feelings of grief and guilt. Those feelings lead her to act recklessly, often putting her life in danger. She feels like if she tells Four what she's done that he won't love her and so she keeps it all bottled up inside and does things with little regard for her safety.

What I think is important in a character's arc is to see them go through adversity and come out stronger on the other side. I don't think Katniss did that. Tris does. The way it happens is perfect. Eventually Tobias tells Tris that he can't love the person she's becoming, that she's more than just Dauntless and if she continues to put her life in danger needlessly than they are done. He doesn't give it as an ultimatum; he's trying to give her a wake-up call. Tris wants to feel like she's sacrificing like her parents and on some level wants to join them. She's tired of life. What he tells her is that a sacrifice is only a sacrifice if its born of necessity. It takes Tris almost dying (and being saved by Peter of all people!) for her to realize that she wants to live and that realization changes the way she acts for the rest of the book. It makes her evaluate her motives and fight for the things she believes in, not just fight. She still struggles with grief and guilt but it doesn't cripple her. I love at the end when Christina tells her that if Will were there he'd tell her to get over it. (Christina, Will's girlfriend, is another fantastic character. The way she forgives Tris is really sweet.) One of the things Tris believes in goes against what Tobias is doing and I like that Tris stays true to what she thinks is the right thing to do even though it may cost her her relationship with Tobias.

Thank you, thank you, Veronica Roth for no love triangle. It's so refreshing. Tobias (Four) and Tris have a relationship that feels real. It's my favorite part of the books and probably my favorite relationship I've read in a long time. It's based on more than just physical attraction. They are strong together but they are also strong separately. They have their ups and downs and they truly love each other. They make sacrifices for each other. They protect each other. I love when Tris is injected with peace serum. That's the comic relief part of the book. Sometimes I think dystopian characters act older than their years but I think that's probably a result of the world they live in. Tris and Tobias have had to do things that most normal non-dystopian teenagers haven't. Obviously. Tobias always treats Tris like she's strong and capable and doesn't coddle her, but he also knows when she really needs him. I love that they always find their way back to each other. I could gush about them some more but I'll stop.

Now...for the ending. I had read on Amazon reviews that there was a bit of a cliff-hanger ending, but I didn't cheat. About two-thirds of the way through I had a pretty good idea of what that twist would be though (think The Village). But I have no idea what direction the third book will take. Some of the characters that you thought were the villains are not and vice versa. I don't think that Caleb (Tris's brother) is a traitor. I'm excited to see what happens between Tobias and his mom now that she's become the villain of sorts. Now that Jeanine is gone someone will have to step up and fill that role. I hope that Tris and Tobias continue on in the same way as the first two books. My opinion of this series might change if they don't! Unfortunately, I have to wait a whole year to find out. That stinks.

Divergent by Veronica Roth

487 pages

"In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue--Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is--she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.

During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles to determine who her friends really are--and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes infuriating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's warned it can mean death. And as she discovers a growing conflict that threatens to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves...or it might destroy her." -Dust Jacket

This is my third time reading this book. I read it last year and then read it again right away, and after just reading a sequel to a book I hadn't read for a year I decided that I would skim through this one again so it's fresh on my mind before the sequel arrives on my doorstep within the next few days. I love this book more and more each time I read it. It might just be my all-time favorite dystopian novel. Sorry, Hunger Games. I love the premise of it and the way the story develops. I love that this story does not involve a love triangle like every other YA book. I love the relationship Tris and Four have. (I still can't call him Tobias.) I think this is one of the smarter dystopian stories and after reading several reviews on Amazon for Insurgent  it's apparently about to get even smarter. It sounds like Tris is going to experience some PTSD which, after what she's been through in Divergent, makes sense, I just hope she doesn't wallow in it like Katniss did. I can't wait!